melrae

the genuine expression of life


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What must a teacher needs to know about guidance and counseling?

The teacher needs to know that Guidance and Counseling is guiding the clients towards self-direction and self-actualization. The teacher must be careful that in Guidance and Counseling it is about facilitating and processing the client, not directing him what to do and what not to do. The teacher must develop counseling techniques to easily help his client and not to make it worst. The core of guidance and counseling is to gear the client to become self-directed (can make healthy decision on his own and can easily cope with problems) and self-actualized person (achieved self-fulfillment and deeper understanding of one’s self).

The teacher needs to know that Guidance and Counseling is not for disciplinary actions and imposing sanctions or punishment. It is not punitive in nature rather corrective. We should not punish students nor reprimand them; instead we shall help the student/s with his predicament and assist him to make wise choice with the right attitude.

The teacher needs to know that Guidance and Counseling assist the students towards personality development, career planning and educational development.

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THE BEAUTY OF LIVING

A man who does not learn the beauty of living must have to learn it after all.

We were living in the countryside. Raise from a poor family, I had an impression before when I was a child that we were very unlucky. Because we belong to the people who are destined to suffer. My parents then have no permanent jobs. We have to wake-up early in the morning to oversee our goats and cows in the field. Right after pastoring, we have to toil in our small farm. It was the source of our food that we daily eat.

My favorite hobby was flying kites. Often in the afternoon during summer months, I used to climb the hill located adjacent to our home. It was the perfect place to fly kites. The wind was strong yet very fresh and very nice. There was a tree also which served as our resting place. In there, I always take a look at the seascapes and the horizon of nature. What I saw in the nature was something different. It was really wonderful. Everything was arranged perfectly. The birds that fly around, the clouds that slightly moving above the mountains, and the trees and the sea. They were very nice to look at. It was full of hope. It was beautiful.

Despite of our meager income, our parents strived hard enough to send us to school. In high school, we had manifold struggling experiences with my elder brother. We went to school several times without an allowance (money). During class days, we just only ride bicycle and sometimes walk going towards the school. The distance between our home and school are three (3) kilometers. Notwithstanding that we were constrained financially yet we were able to finish our studies with honors. My brother passed the DOST (Department of Science and Technology) Scholarship Examination. And I was able also to meet the requirements prescribed for the Academic Scholarships in College.

It was during on the College days where I begin to understand on what is life. There were hundreds of terrible situations that we faced and encountered with my family.

When we were studying with my elder brother and younger sister in College, everyday, we only eat twice. There were even times when we ate only once. The money sent by our parents could only suffice for three (3) days for our foods. There was one time when I got sick, I only slept in the deck in our boarding house and just rested. No food, no medicine. Another terrible thing happened when my younger sister accidentally stepped a broken glass. A fragment of which had penetrated in her foot. She shouted for help. I rushed her in the hospital. Again without money. The physician who attended her required me to buy for her medication. I just only nodded and say yes. But to my mind at that time, I really don’t know what to do and where will I go to ask for help.

I was hospitalized several times because I was very sickly. My parents felt helpless. And when I look at them, and when I look at my brother and sister, I feel deeply saddened. I think to myself then, why is life so unfair? From the time when we were born, we were already underprivileged. But despite of our condition and situation, why is it that we have to suffer a lot? We just only wanted to live.

As far as I can remember, many times we have cried a lot.

After all, I did not lost hope during those times. We did not give up. My reminiscence during my childhood days had lift me. I believed that everything was arranged by God perfectly and accordingly for us to learn and appreciate. So that by experiencing all these things, we may be able gain courage and strength. And by that, we become strong. We learn how to be patient and calm. No matter how insurmountable are the odds, adversities and challenges might be, man can still face them and win.

These are the beauty of life. Full of learnings. The key of living all depend up to us!

Right now, my elder brother is working as Software Engineer and Computer Programmer in a Publishing Company. And I am also working as College Instructor in a Private School and State University after I transferred from a Mining Company as Unit Manager. But prior thereto, I worked in the Department of Justice. My younger sister is now working as a government employee. And our youngest brother is still studying in College.


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HOW IT STARTED…

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If you are meant for each other (MFEO) then truly time will always find a way, notwithstanding the distance and strangeness, it will push your backs towards the opportunity of meeting the perfect person solely designed for you.

 

            I was working at that time in the City Prosecution Office. I had a friend. She was my classmate in the graduate school. Her best friend had arrived from Taiwan. Fresh from working abroad, the latter informed her that she was looking for someone, someone whom she could like. Well, girl talks are always exciting, full of wonderful topics. And that includes relationships. Thinking whom the former could recommend, she told the latter that there was this guy who was my classmate in the graduate school. He is good looking, serious and intelligent. Of course, she was referring to me. She then gave my number to her best friend.

Unknowingly, a short message had appeared in my phone. It told me that she would like to come in my place. I was surprised. I think to myself who is this lady. Then I made a reply to the text message, “sure why not”.

It was Friday afternoon. I was very busy organizing the activity in our Church. To get some snap because I was a little bit tired, I went home. Then my mother had arrived and told me that somebody was looking for you in the Church. She has a fair complexion having a long hair. She was anew to us. We do not know her name.

It made me ponder on who was looking for me. Then I hastily went back to the Church. When I arrived in there, my friend approached me. He was accompanying someone. “This lady was looking for you”, he told. Oh I see! I nodded. I greeted her with a smile.

We then have a date that night. But there was a turning point after all. This was very surprising. And it really was. She told me that she had a niece. She was smart, beautiful and very convivial. She asked me if I would mind to give my number to her. Then I replied, “why not?” Eventually, I did not realized that it was already the time how it started. (to be continued)


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A CAREFUL LOOK OF SELF-ESTEEM

Human has a thrust to improve. It is a human tendency to strive for self-development and fulfillment to continue the cycle of life and achieve a worthwhile esteem of the self. Self-esteem as stated by Rosenberg is a favorable and unfavorable attitude toward the self; it needs a greater understanding to realize the individuals value or worth. According to Maslow, it is imperative to satisfy human basic needs to become successfully self-fulfilled and that includes self-esteem, which is essential and indispensable for growth and survival. But as man seeks for self-fulfillment he or she may either have a high or low self-esteem, which will affect his/her life in the process. Further, there are many factors that contributed in acquiring a high or low self-esteem such as social status, family, peers, teachers, experiences, and many more.

As believed, one having a high self-esteem has a positive regard of oneself and were motivated and determined to achieve success in the future. While, one having a low self-esteem is believe to have a negative outlook and is at a higher risk of becoming depressed. Indeed, self-esteem is related to depression that when we feel depressed we feel down and loss an impulse to go on further and thus a clear indicator of a low self-esteem. Moreover, it leads to a person to cope with their depression by any means oblivious of the value of his self like drug dependence or drug abuse which could apparently imperil his life in the future.


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Philosophy of the counselor

No one knows where would fate bring me, nor care where it lead me. I am alone with my endeavor until I start to seek and search the right path for me. There I learned that life isn’t bad at all, there are still odds that we encounter but more are the beautiful surprises that brighten our way. All we need is someone that enlighten us and someone that brings us to a more individualistic us to be fully self-actualized.

It is certain that individual is actually striving for self-actualization in order to function perfectly as human being. Yet there are still instances that human beings failed to actualize and that leads them to psychological imbalance and emotionally disturbed. Thus, to help these individual to alter their psychological state; to strengthen and improve the quality of the integrative process to foster higher level of their self-actualization – I open my doors to them. I offer my whole heart to those who are in need of guidance and assistance to diagnose and cure their troubled minds and affect. I will render my service to them with unconditional positive regards and respect and treat them with emphatic understanding. I will facilitate my clients with all the knowledge and skills that had equipped me and play different roles depending upon how the session develops. I will select the best and most desirable technique for my client to suit his needs and chose another technique for them to respond effectively to the counseling session. It is also to ensure that my client would definitely be able to cope up with his own problems and deal with it positively. I’ll watched carefully my behavior and manifestations during counseling session to avoid crossing the limitation and must observed the proper ethics in counseling to become more efficient and a reputable counselor. I should make myself approachable and possessing the qualities as a counselor to the field I’ve chosen.

I am counselor that would help the clients to have a wonderful outlook in life, to gain back their senses, to give immediate respond to their needs and concerns; and to lead them to the right direction they are going to take, if necessary. I would entirely devote myself in quenching the thirst of personality integration and unification of my clients. I’ll construct my own theory by drawing on established theories so that I could apply the most appropriate technique to my clientele and be able to help them along the way.

I will uphold all of these things with the guidance of God and reach out to those who need me. I’ll put my heart and soul into counseling and practice it with integrity and dignity.